AFC EAST
SURE THING – None
ON THE BUBBLE – Testicular Elephantitis (6-2-4), Naggaroth Revolutionaries (4-5-2)
Testicular Elephantitis were on a tear early in the season, but only have 2 wins in their last 6, and Gigglebits just bit his last giggle, which made Timdog sad, but made everyone else happy. Without their star Bull, the Elephant Tits should be considered a long shot to make the post-season. The Revolutionaries have hung tough all season, and it wouldn’t surprise me to see them finish strong and take the divisional crown by 1.5 points.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – VooDoo (3-3-5), Maelstrom Marauders (4-1-7)
VooDoo slid out of contention when they dropped 4 straight games, only scoring 1 TD in those losses. They posted a big win last week against the Phoenix Kings, but it’s too little, too late. Same goes for the Marauders, who’ve won 3 of 4 after stumbling and bumbling through the 1st half. I’d say better luck next season, but there’s no way the Marauders will be back.
AFC SOUTH
SURE THING – Zerg Rush (7-2-3)
Zerg Rush lost 2 of their first 3 games, and they’ve only lost 1 since. This team is on a big-time roll, and they’re doing it with only 8 players on their roster. They’ve suffered 8 deaths this season, most notably Gorefist, but the terrible trio of Xel Naga, Fist of Kerrigan, and Ashdar have kept this team pointed in the right direction. They’ve got the brute force to go toe-to-toe with anybody, but a deep playoff run seems far-fetched given how shorthanded they are.
ON THE BUBBLE – None
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Creeping Death (4-3-4), Warp Factor Eleven (3-1-7), Nehekhara Nightmare (2-3-6)
Creeping Death have a roster full of talent, but they’ve been kicking around .500 all year; some seasons, in some conferences, that can keep you in the wildcard hunt. Not this year, though. Warp Factor Eleven have done about as well as you can expect, while the Nightmare have been a big, big disappointment. They hung around for the 1st half of the year, but a 4-game slide has taken them well out of contention, and at this point they’re playing for pride. It’s a shame to see a once-proud franchise laid so low…you hear me, Norse? A SHAME.
AFC CENTRAL
SURE THING – IronTree Hurlers (6-3-2)
Servants of Saruman are currently leading this division, but the Hurlers have a game in hand, and SOS has a date with Miasmic Misery next week, so it’ll be the Elves that take the divisional crown. The Hurlers have put together a solid 2nd-half surge after struggling out of the gate, and they’ve gone 3-2-0 in their last five, which is even more impressive when you consider that the draws came against the Knights and the Brawlers.
ON THE BUBBLE – Servants of Saruman (8-0-4), Stout Lagerhead AllStars (7-1-4)
Both of these teams SHOULD make the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean they WILL. SOS has a tough Week 13 matchup, and then a tough round of divisional games, but unless they completely fall apart, they should be able to hang on to at least a silver star. The AllStars have a free point coming next week vs OFL RAGE QUIT, but they will pay for that point in blood, and a costly injury or two could derail them right before their divisional games. If either SOS or the AllStars fade towards the finishing line, the Hammerhands and Kings will both get in.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Nightmare on Elf Street (4-0-7)
NES had a ridiculously tough schedule this season, with just FOUR of their 16 opponents currently sitting under .500. They dropped their first 4 contests of the season, and while they’ve been better lately, there’s no way they were ever going to overcome that deficit with this schedule.
WFC NORTH
SURE THING – None
ON THE BUBBLE – Soup to Nuts (6-3-3), The Circus (6-1-4), Coolswamp Bogcrocs (5-1-5)
This might be the toughest division to handicap coming down to the divisional games. Soup to Nuts have rebounded nicely after a terrible Season 11, the Bogcrocs have dropped 4 straight after looking like they were on track for another division title, and the Circus has come to town, and they’ve started winning games! What the hell is IN those pies, anyway? STN is in the lead right now, but the Circus will take over top spot with a win this week. The wildcard bar is a full point lower in the WFC than it is in the AFC, so 2 of these teams should get in; right now it looks like the Bogcrocs will be the team on the outside looking in, but it’ll all come down to the divisional games.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Hood Rats (2-3-7)
The only wins the Hood Rats have this season are against Breaking ‘eads and OFL Rage Quit, and they’ve been treated like punching backs in most of their games. The Rats also had a coaching change mid-season, with Lawquoter stepping in for Killabruh (who Trick tracked down, so at least we know he’s still alive. Thanks, Trick!). It’s tough being from the Hood.
WFC WEST
SURE THING – Miasmic Misery (7-3-1)
The Misery have owned this division all Era, and they’re poised to walk away with their 3rd straight title. They’ve only got 1 loss all year, and even though they have tough opponents the next two weeks, they’ve all but clinched their playoff berth.
ON THE BUBBLE – None
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – The Fly Boys (3-3-5), Nebraskull HornHuskers (3-3-5), OFL RAGE QUIT (0-1-11)
The Fly Boys just snapped a 4-game losing streak by beating the Hood Rats, but these OFL newcomers are right about where everyone expected they’d be. The same can’t be said for the HornHuskers, who have had a disappointing campaign after strong showings in the first two seasons of the Era, and they’ve struggled with injuries and deaths in Season 12. OFL RAGE QUIT will win their 3rd consecutive Golden Scimitar this season; it’s the only thing they’ll win. Is Orabbi a big meany? Vote Top Yes!
WFC EAST
SURE THING – Cactuar Calamity (7-3-2)
Squall’s rats are scoring like crazy, and piling up the wins. Plus, they just killed Gigglebits, so yay. With a comfortable lead over the rest of the division, the Calamity will probably be less concerned with wins and more concerned with keeping their key players alive through the final weeks of the season.
ON THE BUBBLE – Darkside Marauders (4-4-3)
The Marauders are just outside a wildcard spot right now, but their schedule coming home doesn’t look too bad, and with a little luck they’ll grab a silver star from either Clan Dragonbane or one of the WFCN teams. After a slow start, a strong finish will get them into the post-season.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Hexoatl Hurricanes (4-2-5), Heroes of Lore (3-3-6)
On paper, the Hurricanes are better than their record, but they’re running out of games to prove it, and they’ll probably need to win 4 of their last 5 to make the playoffs. The reality is that there are too many teams they need to climb over, and even if they do string a handful of victories together, it likely won’t be enough. For the Heroes, a string of injuries/deaths to key players, combined with the decision to release the talented but underperforming Rawbone Jawdrool, has led to a difficult road. It’s a tough end to the era for a team that had 10.5 points last season.
WFC SOUTH
SURE THING – The Chosen Ones (7-3-1), Pink Spades (7-2-2)
The Chosen Ones established themselves as one of the dominant teams in the OFL last season, and have followed that up with a strong campaign in Season 12. The loss of their ST 4 Wardancer Katniss should have slowed them down, but it didn’t. They just keep winning games, and whether they hold on to the division or take a wildcard, they’re a lock for the post-season. Hot on their heels, the Spades have had another solid season, and the divisional crown will probably be settled when they meet for the final time in Week 14.
ON THE BUBBLE – Clan Dragonbane (5-3-3)
This team would probably be higher in the standings, but for some reason, Byrth Grundadrakk keeps trying to throw the ball. Clan Dragonbane are sitting in a wildcard spot right now, and with Byrth and freak of nature Gotrek Gurnisson, they should be able to hang onto it, but their divisional games will be tough.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Orkemon (3-1-8)
With a strong roster and a veteran coach with a proven track record, it’s hard to fathom why things went so wrong for Orkemon in Season 12. Unbelievably, they lost 5 in a row to start the season, and never seemed to get on track. In what might be the OFL’s toughest division, somebody’s gotta come last, but I didn’t expect it to be the Orcs.
WFC UP
SURE THING – Woodstock Warriors (6-2-3)
The Warriors have gotten stronger as the season’s gone on, and their main rivals, SPINAL SNAP, have faded, leaving the Wood Elves the heavy favourites to take the divsion. Grace Slick and Joan Baez are enough to keep opposition coaches up at night, and if they stay healthy, they could make a run at a title.
ON THE BUBBLE – SPINAL SNAP (5-2-5)
With only 1 loss in their first 7 games, SPINAL SNAP looked like they were going to cruise to a division title, but they’re 1-0-4 since. Granted, that 1 win was against the Pink Spades, so it’s too soon to write them off completely, but with the deaths of St. Hubbins, Break’Noz, and Gorefairy V2, their current lineup may not be strong enough to carry them to a wildcard.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – The Teme (3-2-6), Breaking eads (1-2-9)
New additions to the OFL, The Teme was in for an uphill battle this season. Erlendur joined this rag-tag bunch for his 3rd tour of duty in the OFL, and added to his already impressive career totals, but he hasn’t had much help. Breaking eads have done more or less what they set out to do, break eads, though I think it’s worth noting that Gym-bo won as many games in ONE season with Halflings as he has in TWO seasons with Ogres. He should have stuck with the Hussies.
LFC NORTH
SURE THING – buBonIc bRatS (6-4-2)
Danton’s Skaven have had a strong year, thanks in no small part to Freaks From Space veteran Ming the Merciless and his 15 Casualties. With only 9 players on the roster, but 200K in the bank, it will be interesting to see what roster moves the bRatS make as they close in on the end of the season.
ON THE BUBBLE – Every Elf Is An Island (4-4-3), Lazerhawk (5-2-4)
Every Elf Is An Island, or EEIAI for short, have somehow managed to maintain a roster of 13 completely healthy players and a comfortable bank balance despite suffering FORTY casualties in 11 games. Witchcraft! EIEIO is up to something, I know it. Lazerhawk have won 3 of their last 4 to get themselves back into the wildcard discussion, but with 3 teams sitting on 6 points and 2 more at 5.5, the WC race will be a tight one all the way to the end of the year.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Confederacy of Dunces (4-3-4)
The Dunces have a pair of excellent Big Guys in the veteran Mjolner and the Block/Claw Ogre Margaret Crasher, but they also have a date with LFC-leading Darkland Raiders next week…and their divisional games will all be tough…and they have too many teams to get past to make the WC…and everybody knows that having all 3 Big Guys on a Pact team is stupid…
LFC WEST
SURE THING – Darkland Raiders (8-1-2)
The Raiders are peaking at the right time, and had a 5-game winning streak going before a draw in Week 11 with Dark Angels. A trio of ST 4 players makes them intimidating on both sides of the ball, and they’ve pretty much got the LFC W title sewn up.
ON THE BUBBLE – Symphony of Corruption (3-6-3), Feeding Service (4-3-4)
Remember the name “Fleshrender Flutist”. He’s on pace to break the 1000-yard rushing mark in just his 2nd season in the OFL, and he’s the biggest reason SoC are in the wildcard hunt. They’ve got a silver star for now, but most of the teams chasing them have a game in hand, so they’ll need to finish strong if they want to keep it. Feeding Service has done quite well, considering that they were at such a disadvantage coming in as a new team this season…why don’t they have a Bloodthirster?
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Cockney Rhyming Slann (1-2-8)
It’s been a rough year for the Cocks, with their lone win coming 9 weeks ago. Serves them right for having a pun in their team name.
LFC EAST
SURE THING – Angry Birds (7-3-1)
Elves are annoying enough at the best of times, but when they’ve got 3 AG+ players on their roster, forget about it. They’ve also got a pair of 9 MV Catchers, which someone should really do something about. They’re Wood Elves, so every game could be their last, but they look poised to take a run at the LFC crown.
ON THE BUBBLE – Chakalaka (3-5-3)
Who names these teams? Chakalaka is carrying on the Khemri tradition of being really, really good at playing draws, but they’ll need a string of wins if they’re going to get into the playoffs. Old Nehekhara Nightmare teammates Shuxel Kemhef and Khar Mabad, along with former Shugo Jiangshi player Zhou Yun, provide a veteran presence, while a pair of homegrown ST+ players in Femur and Gonads II give Chakawhatever an advantage in the trenches. This team is better than their record, and should make the playoffs.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Dark Angels (3-3-5), Zlatan Dragons (1-4-6)
The Angels don’t score much, but they don’t surrender too many TDs, either. But with only 1 win in their last 6, they have too much ground to make up to get anywhere near the playoffs. The Dragons have struggled in their 1st OFL season, though their lone win did come against the LFCN-leading bRatS. I’m not used to seeing Lizard teams at the bottom of the standings. The LFC is weird.
LFC SOUTH
SURE THING – Granite Geckos (7-2-2)
This is more like it, a Lizard team in 1st place and headed for the playoffs. After a solid performance last season, the Geckos are positioned for a title run, led by the OFL’s top scorer from last season, Mr Dodge Dodgy. Mr Dodge’s numbers have tailed off a bit this season, but that’s only because he’s sharing the TD-scoring duties with Teyacapan this time around.
ON THE BUBBLE – Skanks on Tour (4-5-2)
Hang on, you expect me to believe a Goblin team is holding down a wildcard spot? Get outta here.
PLAYING OUT THE STRING – Halfshell Heroes (4-1-6), Mainstay Murderers (1-0-11)
The Heroes are a whopping -24 in Cas differential; I’m actually impressed that they’ve managed 4 wins with numbers like that. Zitz appears to be trying to collect one of every type of injury. The Murderers are on pace for even fewer points this season than they had in Season 11, and the only team with a worse TD differential is Breaking eads. But at least they managed a win this time around.
-General Kale
OFLBloodBlotter 